sorry for such a fragmented post. this is hard
Yesterday we had a party to celebrate my Nana’s life, including releasing yellow and white balloons, lighting candles and listening to her favourite music.
The week before, she took her last breath as Mum, Dad, Amy and myself held her in our arms.
Life without her seems inconceivable. But it will go on. Clocks will keep ticking and the sun will rise and set as it always has. We have to somehow let go of someone who was a huge part of our lives. It still doesn’t seem real.
Nana taught me how to knit. A few times, because I was never any good at it. I’ve only ever knitted one scarf and it took me forever, and it ended up way too wide and way too short. And the only good rows are those ones she sneaked in for me to help me along.
Nana taught me how to wrap a present. Again, she tried but I never quite got the hang of it. I can make presents pretty, with ribbons and bows, but the actual wrapping part… well, I’ve always said a quiet apology each time I’ve tucked in a chunky corner and stuck it down with a wonky piece of sticky tape.
Nana always made handmade cards for birthdays and christmas, and one of the last things I did with her before she went into hospital was sort out this years set of cards. She always decorated the insides of her cards as well and made sure they had a nice verse in them. She didn’t get a chance to write in her cards this year, the cancer and the pain were making her too ‘doolally’ (as she would say) and we thought we’d leave it for a few days until the pain was a little more under control. However, things progressed quicker than anyone expected and the cards are still unwritten. (I’ll be sending them out sometime in the next week or so)
Yellow roses were Nana’s favourite flower, and so Mum, Amy and I bought a yellow rose bush each with the last bit of cash Nana had in her purse.